An elegantly wasted life.
Jan. 17th, 2005 08:18 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
morganskyeThere are times, like today, when I feel like I have done nothing with my life and probably never will. I have no real skills. Sure, I got a decent job but I think it was luck more than anything. I can cross-stitch and makes scarves. Woop. I wanted to be a great costumer like ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sarcasm_hime. I wanted to have a great education like Trish or Erin. I mean, Trish is a librarian at the National Library for Kami's sake. I want that. I don't want to be fat. I don't want to just go through life, waiting to die. I want to be someone people will remember. I don't want to be useless to myself, and to others. I know people look down on me. I get it a lot. I'm used to it. I think my problem is that I just don't care anymore. It doesn't get me anywhere. I don't have many friends. Barry is really my only local outlet now that Erin has moved on. I've had to give up hobbies because of money. I work just to pay my bills. I can't go out and have fun like I used to. Now my idea of fun is playing video games with Barry. There's nothing wrong with that. I love my man, but I miss my old happy life. I miss Erin and Angie. I miss going places. I miss being wanted. I miss the feeling I got when someone came to me to talk, instead of me hunting them down. I feel like I've outlived my usefulness. 24 years old and obsolete.
sarcasm_hime. I wanted to have a great education like Trish or Erin. I mean, Trish is a librarian at the National Library for Kami's sake. I want that. I don't want to be fat. I don't want to just go through life, waiting to die. I want to be someone people will remember. I don't want to be useless to myself, and to others. I know people look down on me. I get it a lot. I'm used to it. I think my problem is that I just don't care anymore. It doesn't get me anywhere. I don't have many friends. Barry is really my only local outlet now that Erin has moved on. I've had to give up hobbies because of money. I work just to pay my bills. I can't go out and have fun like I used to. Now my idea of fun is playing video games with Barry. There's nothing wrong with that. I love my man, but I miss my old happy life. I miss Erin and Angie. I miss going places. I miss being wanted. I miss the feeling I got when someone came to me to talk, instead of me hunting them down. I feel like I've outlived my usefulness. 24 years old and obsolete.